It's Friday 4th August 2000 and the Rev Al Green is sitting in on another MON press conference...

Today's PC was preceded by the assembled hacks standing at attention as God Save The Queen was played over the tannoy in honour of the Queen Mum's birthday.

Erm...only joking.

Martin O'Neill certainly seemed to me to be a bit tetchy today and I just wonder if he's finding the ways of the Scottish meeja a bit wearing already? I only caught the Broadcast Media section of the pc, so I missed his exchanges with the newspapers - they might make interesting reading, though.

The event got underway with Peter Martin asking for the latest on the situation with the three signing targets. "Which ones?" asked MON, a tad sharply. "Er, Bosnich, Lennon and Thompson.", Peter Martin responded. "I can give you another five if you'd like?" said MON.

Now that got the interest of the meeja, who sat forward, ears pricked. "Well, let me see, I went to see Villa versus Celta Vigo the other night, so I saw Benni McCarthy and about five other Celta Vigo players that I liked...."

The press boys knew they'd been had.

Here's the serious stuff he revealed on the three, though, plus other snippets.

MON met Bosnich for "something to eat" on Tuesday night (no-one asked him the venue) and they had a general chat. Since then he has not spoken to the player or his agent. They DID NOT discuss bonuses or wages (MON expressed surprise that he'd read that they had), and said that they would talk again in future. He said that Bosnich has a positive outlook and they got on well.

That was it.

LENNON

Q: "Can you tell us about Neil Lennon, Martin?"

A: "Every single day I wake up and the phone rings and it's a call about Neil Lennon. George Bush is just off the phone and he wanted to know about Neil Lennon, too. The Russians have got four astronauts up there and *they're* looking for Neil Lennon."

Now, whilst this was delivered with humour and had the hacks laughing, I detected a bit of a rant here. The sheer inanity of the questioning has to be heard to be believed.

MON said just the same as last week - a bid was made and Leicester turned it down. He has done nothing since and is considering his next move.

THOMPSON

Peter Martin, David "Spanner" Tanner and Rob McLean should be stripped, have their wrists tied to their ankles, have their arses smeared with "Essence of In-Season Mare" and be left in a stable with a Grand National winner (Spanner might enjoy that, though). They chose to play clever with MON on the subject of Alan Thompson; there was only going to be one winner.

Example...

Q: "Did you watch Alan Thompson [in Villa's match] ?

MON: "I went to watch a game of football."

Q: "What did you make of Alan Thompson's performance?"

MON: "I was impressed by some of the Celta Vigo players."

Q: "But what did you make of Alan Thompson?"

MON: "Why not ask me about Julian Joachim - he used to play for me at Leicester."

Brainless rephrasing in same theme was interrupted by Rob McLean...

RM: "Getting back to facts..."

MON (interrupting): "That would be nice for a change."

RM (beaming, about to unleash clever question): "Have you actually made an offer for Alan Thompson?" (grins)

MON: "No. I haven't made a bid for Alan Thompson. [pauses, looks McLean in the eye] Did you hear that? I said I haven't made a bid for Alan Thompson."

MON went on to say that he stated clearly at last week's pc that he hadn't made a bid for Richard Wright, yet it was later claimed by someone that he had.

BURCHILL AND KERR

MON admitted the players were "concerned" about their places, but would only say that everyone will get a run (perhaps in Kerr's case that might be "has
already had a run") and they must take their chance when it comes (see what I mean about Kerr?). He also stated that there would be something wrong with
them if they weren't concerned.

TOMORROW'S SELECTION

Well, I'd like to bring some info on the team for tomorrow, but the meeja aren't that clever. For example, no-one asked if Stubbs was fit, or otherwise, so I can't update that situation. I do know that Tom Boyd was going to give an interview after MON, so I'll make the assumption that he'll retain his place - but you never know.